inthepathoffallingobjects

Ask me anything   Hello, person. Nice to meet you. I'm not really that polite in real life, but I wouldn't want to destroy your pre-formed Canadian stereotypes. My name is Elise ( pronounced E-lease, not L-C), I'm fifteen years old and I like to take pictures, draw, read and play music. However, there's not a whole lot of that on my blog. Welcome to my fan-girl haven. Enjoy your stay.

kropotkink:

if a guy ever tells you “you’d look better if you wore less makeup”, tell him he’d look better if he wore more, because 1) he’s likely to get indignant and defensive about his ‘threatened masculinity’, and 2) he almost definitely would look better

(via ohitsjustkim)

— 25 minutes ago with 1484 notes

(Source: lovelife, via dublininc)

— 27 minutes ago with 72349 notes
Joke of the day.

wanderoar:

roseonabeach:

frostedsammy:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

what

Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever

(Source: flyingscotsman, via secretivebeauty)

— 33 minutes ago with 264253 notes

callipygianology:

 I’ve  never seen these all together, so I thought I’d put them in a photoset. Made by the fantastic Kendra Wells on the Toast.

(via secretivebeauty)

— 37 minutes ago with 194989 notes

imlikethesea:

madam-hoodie:

acalmstrength2013:

Look at these silly snail tea cozies

NOOT NOOT

oh my god! how cute

— 45 minutes ago with 12843 notes

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

Dad:Why the hell did you put a comma there?
Dad:Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
Dad:Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
Dad:Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
Dad:Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
Dad:Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
Dad:I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
Dad:Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
Dad:Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
Dad:Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
Dad:It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
Dad:Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
Dad:*puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
Dad:My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
Dad:Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
Dad:Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
Dad:I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
Dad:Fuck the government.
Dad:Fuck the school board.
Dad:Close the door.
Dad:Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
Dad:I love puns.
Dad:People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
Dad:Please shut up.
Dad:Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
Dad:I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
Dad:I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
Dad:You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
Dad:Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
Dad:I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
Dad:If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
Dad:They act like I care what they think.
Dad:I hate homework.
Dad:I have decided to become a politician.
Dad:What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
— 21 hours ago with 84811 notes